Thursday, April 28, 2005
Reclaiming the streets

On arrival from a crowded island such as Britain, one of the first things that strikes you about Brisbane’s suburban streets is their emptiness; sparse expanses of bitumen, comfortably wide enough for four lanes of traffic, baking in the sun and devoid of parked cars.

A legacy of readily available land has allowed wide suburban streets to flourish and low density housing - a theme in Brisbane’s suburbs - means there are fewer vehicles per hectare. Large yards, often over 700m2, have enabled most of these cars to be stored off road.

At 5.30pm in most UK suburban streets car drivers are preoccupied with how far from their front door they will be forced to park; that is after they have negotiated several overcrowded streets, weaving in and out of cars strewn over the road, parked up on verges and blocking junctions.

In contrast, 5.30pm in Brisbane and, yes, the streets are busier, but residents calmly pull their cars into their carports and garages.

This is generally true for most Australian cities which has now led Unley City Council, in Adelaide, to begin unpaving the streets to reclaim the land as green space. Wide suburban streets have been narrowed to two lanes, the bitumen dug up and replanted with native flora, creating a linear, vegetated street-scape. (See www.unley.sa.gov.au/site/page.cfm?u=498)

Many Brisbane streets are already blessed with wide verges and the council has long embarked on tree a planting program to provide shade and scenic amenity for pathways. Generally, residents are responsible for the upkeep of the verge (at least the non-aboricultural aspects) and for the most part do a pretty good job of keeping the grass trimmed. Each year the council offers two free native plants to rate-paying residents to plant in their yards.

But in Unley, the council has taken this much, much further. The immediate benefits, of improving scenic amenity, are obvious, but a number of additional benefits make this an excellent scheme for improving community sustainability:

• Creating an innovative, shady and pleasant street-scape will make walking and cycling more attractive options for short trips; thus reducing the incidence of private car journeys. As a further benefit, community health will be improved.
  
• Reducing the width of the roads will naturally reduce average road speeds through residential areas;
  
• Linear green space will create wildlife corridors, protecting biodiversity and improving migration opportunities for suburban wildlife. The planting of native species will improve opportunities for native suburban bird life to remain competitive with exotic species;
  
• Other amenity benefits will accrue, including traffic noise attenuation and reducing ground temperatures in summer by providing shade;
  
• Less hardstanding, more green space and a greater number of trees will reduce the speed of storm water run off into drains and straight into the creeks. Instead, ground water would seep steadily, improving the regularity of flow, water quality and health of the creeks;
  
• Carbon capture will help to meet reduced greenhouse gas emissions outcomes;
  
• Further intangible benefits, particularly when the local community is involved in the creation and maintenance of the green space, will include fostering greater community pride in local landscape and wildlife.

In Brisbane, the average width of a suburban street is between eight and twelve metres. Assuming that most streets could be reduced in width by 30-40%, each 2.5 to 3 kilometres of suburban road could potentially yield up to 1 hectare of additional green space. A roll-out of such a scheme in a suburb like my own, Northgate, on Brisbane’s northside, could yield far greater green space than what currently exists in the form of park land and water catchment.

Of course there are significant obstacles to this suburban wilderness utopia, not least the current political climate in Brisbane itself, where the current Lord Mayor is focussed more on laying down bitumen than pulling it up, following his very public 5-tunnels election platform. Expanding infrastructure, particularly the major road network is number one priority to improve access and speed for vehicular traffic.

But there are also other constraints, including initial cost roll out, ongoing maintenance and greater risk for roads and subterranean infrastructure from errant roots. Increased housing densities (as dictated by the SEQ Regional Plan) and growth of car ownership per dwelling may also increase the need for greater vehicle storage capacity on the city’s roads.

But rather than lay ever more hectares of bitumen, and blithely accept the vehicular traffic growth predictions, why not start taking the policy initiative and pull up the bitumen which is excess to requirements and reclaim the streets for people and possums?

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Everton's off-field adversary
As an old Evertonian I am alarmed to hear that the FA is even considering that Liverpool could gain entry into the 2005-06 UEFA Champions League over and above the team placed 4th in the final UK Premiership ladder, if it wins this year's competition,

I can understand Liverpool FC's predicament, it has big player contracts to honour and the money Champions League Football brings in is probably required to break even. But competition rules are competition rules. You cannot change them simply because you need more money. Liverpool's excuse that it just want the opportunity to defend its title (which hasn't been won yet) is simply a red herring.

For Everton to finish 4th in this years Premiership would be an astounding achievement, considering the money thrown at other clubs. While Chelsea, Arsenal, Man. Utd., Liverpool and half a dozen other clubs are in a league above financially, players and commitment can make a difference on the field.

But this isn't just about money.

If the FA changes its mind (and football results go a certain way) this will be the second time that Everton will have been denied its rightful place in European football by their rivals Liverpool, for off-field reasons.

In 1984-85 season, Everton won the (then) First Division with a record 90 points and then proceeded to waltz over Austrian side Rapid Vienna to win the European Cup Winners Cup. At the time, Everton was arguably the best team in Europe.

But it was never able to prove it on the field. Two weeks later LIVERPOOL fans went on the rampage in Brussels's Heysel Stadium and murdered 39 Juventus supporters. UK clubs were banned from European competition for 5 years.

The next season Everton finished 2nd in the League and also won the FA Cup. The season after that Everton were League Champions again. Yet still the club would be denied European football.

Since then, Everton has struggled, but 2004-05 has seen a revival. But it seems that Liverpool's knives are out for them again.

This time, there should be no denial, no change of policy. The top four teams in the English Premiership should qualify for the UEFA Champion's League, as has happen every year since its conception. Liverpool manager, Rafael Benitez should shut his mouth.

Traditionally, any English soccer supporter would be backing another English side in a European final, but this year there will be no Evertonians cheering for Liverpool.

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Monday, April 25, 2005
The Joh is dead: long live the Joh
At last, Queensland's greatest Premier (according to some) or biggest crook (according to most) has died.

Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen has finally popped off his mortal coil after hanging in there for 18 years after being considered too old and too frail to stand trial for lying to the Fitzgerald Royal Commission into his government's corruption.

As usual, the sycophantic tributes poured in, but by most he will be remembered for his "don't you worry about that...." attitude towards political accountability, the self-enrichment of his cabinet members, a human rights record that the South African aparthied government would have been proud off. Indeed, he was one of their biggest supporters, alongside Thatcher and Reagan, that is....

Full obit here.

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Sunday, April 24, 2005
Kobble Creek Falls: The Lepidozamia Track

This creepy guy was guarding the track down to Kobble Creek Falls (or not falls, as the case was).

An eerie, melancholy sort of chap, frozen into the tree.

Having bought a decent topographic map of Brisbane State Forest we now have a better idea of where we are going when we hack off into the rainforest.

This walk took us north from Mount Glorious along the ridge line at the top of the D'Aguilar Range on the "Lepidozamia Track". Lepidozamias are endemic cycads, the largest of which we saw was prehaps 35 feet high. The peak of the range is 770m, so you are afforded some good views of the coast when you find a break in the trees.

I had hoped/presumed that the recent rain would have meant that the creeks were flowing, but it has generally been a pretty dry summer, as evidenced by a huge swathe of the lower scelophyl forest here having been recently burnt away in a bush fire.

The walk dropped us down some 380m from the rainforest at the top, through progressively drier and thinner forest lower down, which at the falls was pretty much open bushland forest. It was hard work too, so it was all the more disappointing to get to the bottom and find the cascades bone dry.

We will have to judge the weather more carefully next time we expend such effort. That said, Kobble Creek will probably not flow again until next summer. At the top of the cascades was a wrought iron BBQ; an excellent spot for an overnight bush camp when the weather warms up again.

By the time we had climbed all the may back up again, little Matthew had clocked up some 17,500 steps on his pedometer.

The guy in "Supersize Me" suggested the average American clocks up just 1,200 per day, so I reckon Matthew has nearly a fortnight sitting on his arse to make up for his exertions.

You would think that the forest would be teeming with life, especially here as this is well off the beaten track. None of the paths we walked on today are marked on the official EPA or State Forest guides - we only saw 4 other people.

The two specimens we did see, a lace monitor and some kind of frog, were both dead. There is generally plenty of bird life (but you never see it) but as far as anything else was concerned, nothing.

Why? Not sure. Maybe it is there and you just can't see it (as we have seen wallabies in the forest just up the road). Maybe the recent bush fires have pushed most of it away (but then there was still plenty of green grass around from the recent wet weather). It is odd - and slightly worrisome.

No shortage of trees, of course, including some fine Grey and Sydney Blue Gums, Bloodwoods and Tulip Oaks and Piccabeen Palms in the wetter parts.

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Friday, April 22, 2005
The Brisbane Institute
The Brisbane Institute is Brisbane's very own think-tank. It is headed up by Professor Peter Spearitt - a caustic, yet forthright critic of development and traditional economic progress in SEQ.

I have been lucky enough to hear him speak at a number of seminars and planning meetings over the last year and he was one of the key drivers behind the Queensland Government's move to draw up a Regional Plan for SEQ, currently in the process of being finalised.

The Brisbane Institute is most defintely part of teh 'critical left', ABC/Sydney Morning Herald journalist David Marr claimed was so critical to contemporary political discourse. That is 'left', not in the sense of being democratic socialist and having a view on how much regulatory impact a government should have on the economy but 'leftist' in a questioning, discursive sense - not accepting what governments and business (in particular) will tell you.

Beyond economic growth: from quantity to quality is fairly typical, but excellent peice and touches on a growing critical green view that also was made clear in the consultation responses to the draft SEQ Regional Plan: Why do we need growth?

Richard Eckersley, the author, is a fellow at the National Centre for Epidemiology and Population Health at the Australian National University. I reckon that he attended a recent conference on ageing, longevity and health in Brisbane recently and has been influenced by the infamous David Suzuki who made a speach at conference and labelled current growth trends in SEQ (of around 88,000 people per year) as crazy and unsustainable.

Also influential in the 'growing' number of academics espousing stable-state ecologically based economics is Clive Hamilton, Director of another think tank The Australia Institute. He wrote an excellent (though not beyond critique, see my Life Cycle of Christmas Cracker) book, "Growth Fetish", about how we not only should adapt to zero-growth, but how this is becoming increasingly essential to our survival.

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Odd week
Matthew is now finally over his bout of chicken pox so I was able to return to work late on in the week.

That said, there is not much on. Now that the decision has been made to wind up our branch we pushed hard to get the Lord Mayor to suspend working group business to take the pressure off the branch while we insitute the transition.

Jobs specs were released for the new organisation, rather humbly called the South East Queensland Council of Mayors, confirming all our worst fears - that is simply become a Mayor's club of jostling egos, rather than a genuine cooperative body working for COUNCILS in SEQ. Anyway, the job specs look pretty depressing, all about delivering on something the Mayors themselves will be responsible for - OK if they give it the time, but once they realise they really are minor pawns on the political scene and/or they loose interest, you would be on a hiding to nothing.

Simililarlty, you kind of get the impression that you're going to have to demonstrate a shared politcal vision - not something I am necessarily comfortable with. Not sure I want to see SEQ buried under bitumin and gridlocked with traffic. That said, I get the impression that the Cheif is wanting to push me in that direction.

On the bright side, an alternative job in the Neighbourhood Planning Team in Urban Management looks on the cards. Find out next week.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005
China and Japan: the textbook wars
I cannot believe that a reprinted text-book could be the making of a diplomatic incident. One can see it now: WWI began with the shooting of the Crown Prince of the Austro-Hungarian Empire by a Serbian nationalist, WWII began with the rise of Nazism and the invasion of Poland. The Sino-Japanese War of 2005 began with an argument of a school textbook.

Maybe the Japanese Government has reacted with insensitivity and has not matched contemporary Germany in facing up to atrocities in the past. But the Chinese leadership's attitude is no less disingenuous. Its suppression of dissent and public demonstration in opposition to the government is brutal and total, yet it is willing to tolerate and it seems, surreptitiously support, public action against Japanese interests in China.

I am not sure that the Japanese government should be the ones to point this out to them, but it seems that at the moment so many want to be China's trading friend, that no one else dare say it.

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Stoopid kids
The entire nation asked "why the hell did they do it?"

Now it transpires that the mules were paid just $10,000 each to risk their lives smuggling heroin through Bali and into Australia. Four were caught red-handed, and another immediately fingered, and now they will most likely be shot for their crimes.

Whilst many people might not be aware that Indonesia, specifically, can impose the death penalty on drug smugglers, most should be acutely aware of how seriously this activity is dealt with across the whole SE Asia region. The media all too often reports on foreign nationals (in particular) being arrested, spending many years in gaol and/or being put to death.

But criminologists have been suggesting that despite mainstream media coverage, education in schools and even having it printed clearly in their passports, the message that people can be killed for drug smuggling in some countries is still not reaching everyone.

This is worrying. If the pundits are correct, how can it be that there are still groups in society who are so far removed from what goes on around them that they cannot appreciate this? What more can be done to at least inform them so they make a more rational choice?

If they are wrong, refer back to the opening paragraph.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Tell it how it is.....
Australian Prime Minister John Howard said that the new Pope, Benny Hill the XVI, would be "following in the footsteps of Pope John Paul II," and that "he is also likely to reach out to people across faiths, around the world."

Chief Primate of Australia, Cardinal Pell, believes the new Pope's approach could help increase church attendance in Western countries.

He continues on to say that Ratzinger's reputation as a hardline ideological enforcer is "undeserved and he has the ability to build bridges within the church and with other faiths."

George Bush said: "He's a man of great wisdom and knowledge."

German Chancellor, Gerhard Schroeder, said that Ratzinger was a renowned theologian and that his election was an honour for Germany.

Philippine President, Gloria Arroyo, has led the nation in jubilation, declaring that the succession "served to unify not only the Catholic faithful but also those who believe in peace, brotherhood and harmony with other nations and faiths".

It sounds like it is the week of sycophancy and template-produced platitudes. Every public figure seems to have something good to say about the newly elected Pope: same as the old one, just older, apparently.

That is until Archbishop Desmond Tutu decided to tell like it is. Maybe it was his days manning anti-apartheid barricades or battling for justice. Or maybe it his experience at the sharp end of life in Africa under the long shadow of poverty, AIDs, environmental destruction and a potential Malthusian disaster.

Blame for these massive social failures cannot be directly apportioned to the Catholic Church, but much of its doctrine has been a contributory factor.

Perhaps what the Catholic Church needed was a pragmatist - and an African or Latin American one at that - rather than a rigid dogmatist who considers doctrinal responses to these crises should be just more of the same.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
In deep sh!t

The Australian

Just as Gold Coast women Schapelle Corby is about to hear whether she has been convicted of drug smuggling and sentenced to death, for shipping a few kilos of grass, 5 young Australians decide to board a plane in Bali, with 5 kilos of heroin strapped to their torso.

Four more were rounded up by Indonesian police at their hotel. All 9 of them are under 30.

For f*ck's sake, what were they thinking?

(Sorry, I do not usually swear, but forgive me, I think this warrants it.)

Most of them were kids, 19 to 21 years old. Now they face DEATH by firing squad after a wretched few months in a Bali gaol.

The ‘Bali-9’ were arrested in a joint operation between Australia Feds and the Indonesians. The Feds had been involved in the surveillance in the run-up to the arrests, which occurred at the airport; one guy was even frog-marched off the plane.

Some interesting jurisdictional and moral questions remain to be answered, however. Knowing that the 5 on the plane could have been picked up at Sydney, should the Feds have been pushing to feel their collar in Australia, where they could not be sentenced to death?

I guess, the Indonesians were pretty keen to pinch them in Bali. It was their op., in their jurisdiction, so what if it carries the death penalty there?

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Monday, April 18, 2005
Mount Coot-tha
Penny was revising for forthcoming exams, so I took the boys up to Mount Coot-tha for a stroll in the bush.

As there would be no water in the waterfalls (much to the disappointment of a bunch of American walkers) we took the route up to the top of the hill for an ice cream at the Restaurant on the summit.

It is a pleasant enough route, but too busy and too noisy for any possibility of seeing any wildlife, despite the new green grass shoots, thanks to the light rain in the last couple of weeks.

Took a couple of large panoramics from the top (click on the thumb nails to open larger image). I couldn't get one big one as there were too many people:





On the way back home we stopped off at Brisbane Forest Park HQ at The Gap to pick up a 1:30,0000 topographic map of the place. This will open up some fantastic walks up in the rainforest. Can't wait.

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Norths U7 (White) 55 v 35 Norths U7 (Gold)
Another fine win; won 2, drawn 1 in pre-season. This sets us up well for the main draw which starts next week.

For much of the time, games at this level proceed along basketball lines – points are related to alternate phases of possession. As a result, you end up with many games drawn and most victories tend to be by a margin of just one try.

The fact that we won this game by 4 tries is testament to defending well, keeping our shape, not getting sucked in to the rucks and then managing to win 3 or 4 turn-overs in the second half when we began to pull away in the lead.

Attacking play, was as ever, full of flair and a number of flowing moves, as well as the usual great breaks from the good runners.

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Saturday, April 16, 2005
Day out: Pine Rivers Shire
Saturday afternoon we visited Brisbane’s Alma Park Zoo, some 30km northbound on the Bruce Highway. I say ‘Brisbane’s’ Alma Park Zoo to distinguish it from its nearby younger, louder and more tacky sibling, Steve-Crikey-Irwin’s Big New Australia Zoo, another few kilometres northwards.

Reflecting its usurpation as SEQ’s premier animal exhibit, Alma Park Zoo is a little more low-key, fewer animals, fewer people and set amongst shady, mature, pseudo-rainforest, meaning that you are never exposed to the intense heat that you are at Australia Zoo with its rows and rows of saplings.

But Alma Park has a somewhat eclectic collection. Adjacent to the classic koala, wombat, wallaby Australiana combo is a Malaysian Sun Bear, some mountain goats from Himalaya, Baboons and broiler chicks in a ‘friendly farmyard’.

Still, it was a pleasant, and we were even treated to a very rare sight – a moving koala. Normally, these creatures spend the daylight hours sleeping in the sun in the canopy of gum trees, starting to move only at night to travel, mate and feed. But this fella (it was definitely a male) clearly had his body-clock on London time and was as lively as anything; he knew exactly when to try and make a break for it when one of the zoo-keepers (what a wonderful sounding job) opened his exhibit door to come in to administer some medicine.

This koala’s hormones were calling; he knew the consequences of escape…. One day, he’ll do it. He’ll hide, the keeper will come in and then he will be away…..

Later we travelled through some of Pine Rivers Shire bushland, stopping at a couple of parks and Lake Samsonvale Dam, where you are affording some great views over the southern end of the D’Aguilar Range and Mounts Glorious and Nebu.

Worryingly, the level of the Dam is low. This is the time of year that it really ought to be at its peak, right at the end of the wet season. But this summer has been dry; even the late flurry of unsettled weather in the last couple of weeks I doubt has made much difference.

Lake Samsonvale does not provide Brisbane’s water, which is stored in a huge dam further afield, and is quite a large dam. But I don’t know how many drought-like summers Samsonvale can take before the residents of Pine Rivers Shire begin to start worrying. Or when, for that matter, when the politicians begin to appreciate that such massive population growth in a fragile environment is destabilising in the short term and unsustainable in the long run.

Matthew is still absolutely covered in spots from his chicken pox. He is like his own little super-volcano – just keeps on erupting!

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Thursday, April 14, 2005
Costello and Downer - two peas in a pod
Costello's arrogance is matched only by Downer's duplicity....

Still trying to hammer out the GST-State taxes deal, Costello has said that States which agree to the deal [to abandon any sense of State sovereignty] will not be compromised by those do not. Yet he refuses to name the States that he claims are playing ball (though we know that at least Queensland and NSW have not).

Unfortuntely, Costello must be the most indiscreet man in Australia, as he continues to bludgeon the States live on air. It may mean that my taxes are not reduced (probably by all of a couple of hundred bucks per year), but the States should stick to their guns. While the SA Premier may feel like he is a pop-gun in the face of a bulldozer, he will be crucified if he caves-in.

Foreign Minister (Lord) Alexander Downer has long been a pompous git. His dismissive nature in dealing with challenging questions, by turning a different question back on the interviewer papers over his intellectual and policy contradictions, but most people with a modicum of political nouse can see through it for what it is - duplicitous.

Two years ago, Downer and the Howard Government were prepared to wash their hands of two Australians held indefinitely, without a recognised legal status and against all western sensibilities of due process. David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib both potentially faced the death penalty, not ruled out after the US sweep of young males in Afghanistan.

Australia, a long opponent of the death sentance, would never extradite anyone facing such a sentance, yet seemed determined to let the Americans do what they wanted with these two men.

Currently, a Gold Coast woman, Schapelle Corby, faces a possible death sentance in Indonesia for alledgedly smuggling cannabis into Bali. The evidence seems fairly circumstantial, but yet the defence was also based on possibilities. She is due to be sentanced very soon.

Downer is pulling out all the stops. He is appealling for clemancy and he has asked the Indonesias if Corby could do any time in Australian prisons.

As he should. Australia is against the death penalty and as such it should lobby hard for a custodial sentance.

Yet this wasn't good enough for Hicks and Habib.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
States take off their gloves
Buoyed by their federal election victory which will soon give them control of the Senate, the (conservative) Coalition seems hell bent on picking a fight with their Labor cousins in power in the States.

Political Australia is in an odd position. All States and Territories are in the hands of Labour governments, and in many cases overwhelmingly so. Yet for some reason, Australian voters decided to give the Howard government yet more time in power in Canberra.

Not missing this opportunity, Howard is pushing a hard line conservative economic and social agenda.

But it is not this specific agenda which has got the States offside – they understand Howard has a clear federal mandate.

It is the Feds muscling in on hitherto State responsibilities that is creating the tension; in particular, reform of industrial relations, a central part of Howard’s continuing New-Right agenda of deregulation, privatisation, marketising public services and attacking welfare recipients.

The Australian Constitution seems fairly clear. The Commonwealth is competent to make law in some 39 areas, as sketched out in Section 51. Not one of these areas relates to 'industrial relations'. Yet Howard has made it clear that he intends to legislate if his State counterparts refuse to do his bidding. And Section 109 states that where a valid Commonwealth law is inconsistent with a State law, the Commonwealth will prevail.

Howard justifies this as Section 51 (xx) specifies that the Commonwealth can make law with respect to “trading or financial corporations formed within the limits of the Commonwealth”. It is estimated that this covers some 80-85% of all employees, excluding those sole traders, partnerships and those employed by unincorporated organisations.

However, Howard's plans would create a two-tier work force, with employees unclear about whether the terms and conditions of their livelihood are regulated by the States or the Commonwealth.

Howard’s stated hopes are that once the States have 85% of the work force taken out of their hands, the remaining State bureaucracies will be unsustainable and would 'whither away', handing over power to Commonwealth voluntarily.

On the face of it, it makes economic sense. Having one industrial relations bureaucracy and set of regulations, instead of 8, saves money, is easier for business, employees and consumers to understand and creates a level playing field for foreign investment. But what Howard fails to see is that centralising power to the Commonwealth creates its own problems.

This latest spat is on the back of a long list of skirmishes. Kick starting this current crisis was (Federal) Treasurer Peter Costello's demands that States become accountable to the Commonwealth over how they spend GST (sales tax) receipts. In a series of summits (well, seething arguments, really) between the Commonwealth and State Treasurers, Costello demanded that the States abolish a long list of their stamp-duty taxes, now that GST has been a success beyond belief by madly spending Australians.

This has left the State Premiers in a rather unenviable position. Costello tells the States - via the nightly news mostly - to 'cut your taxes', leaving the State Premiers seeking to protect their sovereignty, interests and, indeed, dignity by saying 'no'.

Divide and rule is Costello's tactic - shamelessly lying on national radio, seeking to drive a wedge between the Labor States. This evening he suggested that most States had agreed to his tax reform plan, yet Beattie (QLD) and Carr (NSW) are both still promising war.

Of course, the States are not accountable to the Commonwealth for how they spend their money and they certainly do not have to answer the Commonwealth Treasurer. Demanding that they do is patronising to the extreme. States are accountable to their own voters.

But this goes right to the heart of the current crisis and provides ample theoretical inconsistencies to keep any avid political scientist interested. Particularly since the introduction of GST, their has been a growing 'fiscal imbalance' - the Commonwealth are collecting more and more of the taxes (well, actually, Australian businesses are doing it for them) yet the States are the biggest spenders, responsible for delivering most public services which affect people's daily lives.

Howard and Costello assume -rightly or wrongly - that this puts the Commonwealth in the driving seat, able to dictate the terms on which it hands over tax revenues.

And while debate rages over industrial relations reform and fiscal imbalances, the Commonwealth is fingering the pie in health (when Health Minister Tony Abbott suggested that the Commonwealth take over the management of public hospitals), education with the mooting of a 'national curriculum and police.

(Interestingly, Howard has rowed back from Abbott’s outburst – there’s noting quite more like a poisoned chalice than being in charge of public hospitals – ask Tony Blair and Gordon Brown – doesn’t matter how much money you throw at them, people will say they are never satisfied, yet they will continue to avid support the institution.)

To outsiders - and no doubt to me, a year ago - this must all seems a little odd. After all – it is all 'Australia', surely? Why does it matter who delivers the services or makes the laws?

But Australia is a nation borne of the federation of 6 different Colonies. The States remain sovereign bodies; the States chose to federate to make laws in a list of defined fields. It is only the State Parliaments that retain the competency to legislate in any area of law, bar customs and excise and raising a defence force.

Despite being more culturally homogenous than the United Kingdom, the Australian States retain far more power than the Welsh Assembly or even the Scottish Parliament. At any time, Westminster could make a law to dissolve any of these chambers. Howard could never do that.

Howard’s muscle flexing is no doubt simple posturing, emphasising his strong electoral position,. But when he begins to tamper with the constitution, he perhaps needs to act with greater sensitivity and maturity.

Any undergraduate politics student could recount the philosophical underpinnings of 'conservatism' - small and instrumental government, institutionalising self sufficiency of the family unit and devolution of power to lowest level appropriate.

So where has this current rush for centralisation come from? Certainly not Howard’s political philosophy. This is political opportunism from the political opportunist par excellence. Is Howard and Costello calling the State's bluff on industrial relations and taxation? We shall see.

It also remains to be seen whether the Senate, under the control of the Coalition, will act on behalf of the States in Parliament (as it should) or at the behest of its political masters in the House of Representatives.

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Chicken Pox
Matthew has chicken pox so I am now spending all day at home. The poor lad is covered in spots.

I sent him to school in the morning thinking that it was only impetigo, but by the time I was called back (at 9.15am) he was getting new spots every two minutes!

Fortunately, he doesn't appear to be suffering too much, but I cut his nails down to the bone so that when the itching begins, he simply wont be able to scratch them!

At least it looks like I have a job now. Perhaps not my political dream, working for Mayors Newman, Pisasale, Freemand et al. But may present some opportunities to secure a sustainable future for SEQ.

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Sunday, April 10, 2005
Are you thinking what we're thinking?
Apart from leaving themselves wide open to lampoon (see my rather amateurish approach, right), the Tory campaign slogan must go down as one the bravest strategic failures since the Charge of the Light Brigade.

It is supposed to connect with the 'ordinary' voter, I guess, but it leaves it too open to interpretation.

An election campaign should be used to express what your party stands for; or at least - and most commonly these days - what you party does not stand for.

'Are you thinking what we're thinking' explicitly does not express any ideals, policies or values. It is strategically staying silent on these, assuming that the politicians and the electorate are already perfectly in tune with one another.

Of course, we know this not to be true. Despite the advent of electronic media, democratising the world and giving constituents a direct line through to their elected representatives, the gulf remains as wide as ever.

Just because we see these people on the news day in-day out, does not mean we know them intimately enough to assume we're thinking what they are thinking. Hell, I've been married nearly 9 years, and I'm a dismal failure at reading my wife's mind.

Labour's 'Britain, Forward not Back' is also as empty and devoid of policy as any marketing slogan, but at least it explicitly espouses a 'value' (whatever a 'forwards' Britain actually is, see below).

The Tory slogan can and will only appeal to existing Tory voters; only they have some idea of what Mr Howard is thinking, being of the same political persausion. 'Are you thinking what we're thinking?' will ensure that the Tories will forever fail to appeal again to a broad section of community and will die a slow death, as its 'traditional' support grows old and dies.

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Labour says Tories want 'backwards Britain'
Tony Blair has gone on the offensive in UK election campaign, claiming that the Conservatives want to see a 'backwards Britain'.

In a speech at a campaign rally in Deal in Kent, the Prime Minister outlined New Labour's plans for a 'forwards-Britain', with a competitive and stable economy, a flexible labour market and Kent firmly entrenched in the country's south east.

Attacking the Conservative's vision for Britain, Blair said "If the British public vote for Michael Howard on May 5th they will voting for a backwards-Britain. Cornwall would no longer be the 'West Country' and we will have to make the Channel Tunnel almost 5 times longer."

"These are ill-thought out ideas made by a deperate Party making policy on the hoof. Their figures for the costs of this change are all way-off, not to mention how this will affect coastal erosion in Norfolk, if it was exposed to the North Atlantic weather patterns," he said.

But defending the Conservative proposals, Michael Howard said, "Conservative constituencies in Kent are already swarming with bogus asylum seekers. It is about time that Cornwall and Devon took their fair share of them. Then we'll see how many vote Liberal."

"Their schools aren't swamped by non-English speaking immigrant kids and their boarding houses aren't crammed with Albanians restaurant staff."

"Making a backwards-Britain will make it more far more difficult for these types of people to get to London as it would be moved to the West Country. This will be a great deterrent to those seeking to abuse the system."

Caroline Spelman, sitting Conservative MP for Meriden in the Midlands, said "I don't really mind whether we have a forwards or a backwards-Britain. In Meriden, we're right in the middle so it doesn't realy affect us. But I will defintely support my Party Leader in the election."

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Saturday, April 09, 2005
Albany Creek (Green) 35 - 40 Norths (White)
After a dismal training session on the Friday when the kids acted like psychotic minature demons from Hades, we got often a promising start to the season with a win over Albany Creek.

I have good feeling about this season. We have a big squad (11), with three great new recruits to the team. On Saturday everyone played well - James was his usual busy self, stealing the ball and disrupting play like the best of any open side flanker, Will was his usual controlled, mercurial self and Tyrone has learnt to score in the corner, whilst diving, holding the ball in one hand, suspended out of play and squeezing it inside like Joe Rokocoko. And Hugo, Hugo interplayed with Will three times for Will to score try of the match.

But it was the boy's commitment on the defensive line that impressed me most. We kept our shape in defense, didn't get too many players sucked in to the ruck and so kept numbers out wide and got goal side to block any direct way to the try line.

Oh yes, these kids are only 6 years old.

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Thursday, April 07, 2005
LoST
Thank god, Lost is back on tele (Channel 7, 8.40pm, just 10 minutes away).

I was beginning to think that I had wasted 7 hours of my life sitting through the first 7 episodes (and the accompanying 20 minutes of ads per hour), only to see the series dropped (ratings?). Phew, they were just breaking for Easter.

When people told me ‘24’ was great, I believed them, but would never have committed myself to watching 24 episodes of anything, especially one where – I guess – unlike a soap you would have to watch every minutes, lest you get to the end of the series thinking…. so who was the guy with the funny hair and why was he trying to kill the woman with the dodgy shoes…..

When Lost started, hot on the heels of a couple of a bunch of ‘three-parters’, I assumed it was one of the same. I could sit, watch and walk away in a few weeks.

After 4 weeks, and still nothing happening, I caved and checked out the website only to be confronted with ‘In episode 23, Jack finally comes to terms with……’ Shit. 24 bloody episodes. Now I have to watch them all.

(Well alright, no I don’t.)

It is a silly and ultimately frustrating program with pointless black and white decisions wrapped around a fuzzy ‘lets start a new leaf’ theme, where each character with a flawed past is revealed and the slate wiped clean after crash landing on a desert island.

The survivors are obsessed with secrets. I mean, if I had had lived through an aeroplane crash and shot a polar bear in the jungle, I would be running up and down the beach screaming about it. If I had witnessed a dinosaur (we guess) tear the pilot out of the cockpit and eat him alive, again, I wouldn’t be keeping it to myself.

Ho hum, I wonder who’s live story is it on these evening’s episode. That’s if I can actually see it of course. The aerial is now so bad, it is like watching Ski Sunday in a blizzard.

DIY Saturday then, I guess.

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005
SEQROC bows out
The end of an era.

We have all been fired. After a Mayoral ‘strategic workshop’ over the weekend they have decided to throw away SEQROC and replace it with…. Well, they don’t really know yet, but something exciting, some ‘strategic’ and something that’s going to get them on the nightly news.

I knew it was bad, when at a scheduled team meeting on Tuesday, Jane (branch manager) blustered in and announced “It’s bad guys, really bad.”

We were then visited in the Branch by Phil [Minns, Divisional Manager], Jude [Munro, CEO] and Campbell [Newman, Lord Mayor of Brisbane] – all in the same room, all at once, talking to us mere mortals.

So we have spent the rest of the week filling out application forms and updating CVs.

It is not quite as bad as it sounds. The worst that can happen is that I get shunted sideways into a crap job on the same pay.

Of course, the best that can happen is that I get one of the jobs I have applied for and get a pay rise.

Full story will follow, when I have time to write it. Still a little shocked about the whole thing really.

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Monday, April 04, 2005
Brave Canadian seal hunters in daring pup-cull

Courageous seal hunters in Canada have begun their annual cull of Harp seal pups to fuel the burgeoning fur market in Europe and Russia.

Brave hunters have risked their lives to save their livelihoods and have taken to the ice-floes off north-eastern Canada to do battle with viscous baby seals; to bash them on the head with a big stick and strip them of their fur, sometimes while still alive.

Make no bones about it. This is tough, man’s work. The Harp seal pups are known to be dangerous when cornered and will often bleat out loudly and try to waddle away when accosted by a group of hunters armed with heavy objects. And some of the pups are so hardy it may take 4 or 5 blows to kill them off.

And those pups resilient enough to survive the hunt finally succumb when stripped of their skin on board one of the factory ships.

The working conditions are extremely harsh. Temperatures can drop to –10° and when the only thing protecting you from the elements is an $2,000 Gortex suit and a supply ship full of provisions, it takes a real pioneer spirit to go seal hunting. And although the pups only weigh some 10-15kg, when hauling some 200 carcasses a day, backs can be hurt without the proper workplace health and safety training.

“These are brave boys,” said Chuck Noble, Operations Manager for a family owned seal fur firm in Halifax, Newfoundland.

“When armed only with a 4 foot blunt heavy club, these seal pups can be formidable quarry. Don’t let those big black eyes and cute faces tell you otherwise,” he said.

“I know hunters who have strained their backs, slipped on the ice and caught a cold, all from embarking on daring seal-pup hunting trips. The environment is unforgiving and the rewards are meagre.”

“These men are proud Canadians, carrying on a noble custom brought down through many generations. My father taught me how to club seal-pups and his father taught him. The people may have changed, but the technology hasn’t. Its more a vocation than a job; its in the blood.”

“It takes an especially heroic kind of soul to take on seal-pup clubbing as a job."

"Most of the men-folk round here wear those padded, checked shirts, traditional dress for coastal community type people and they drink a famous, manly beer, so I think they’re the right sort,” said Noble.

“Whacking baby seals is the mainstay of the community and contributes at least half a per-cent to the local GDP. It is an important industry and we’re gonna fight to keep it,” he concluded.

The annual cull has received widespread condemnation, not only for its cruel and barbaric practices, but for being unsustainable. This year, the Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans decided that a quota of 360,000 pups is sustainable and will have no long-term impact on Harp seal numbers, though to be in the region of 5 million.

The Department says it has learned the lessons of the mid-1980s, when it was in charge of setting the annual quota for cod catches off the Grand Banks, shortly before the total collapse of the stock, from which it is unlikely to recover.

But supporters of the cull say they are only reacting to a resurgence in the popularity of seal pup fur from wealthy fashion houses in Europe. Each pelt can sell for as much as $45 US in Norway and Russia, the most lucrative of the fur markets.

“It is simply supplying the demand in the market,” said a Canadian Government spokesperson. “Seal-pup fur is not a boutique, non-essential material but nature’s gift to the cold nations of the planet. It is durable, insulating and fashionable.”

“Activist groups that oppose the scheme are just cashing in on the cute looks of the seal-pups and are pandering to faint-hearted. If people don’t wish to see seal-pups clubbed on the head with a big heavy club, they should stop demanding their fur,” the spokesperson said.

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Saturday, April 02, 2005
Day out: Mooloolaba
Today we took a day trip up to the Sunshine Coast - kind of old-hat, but it is still a great part of the region. Dan's wife, Sam, came with, as she is keen to see a bit more of the place. We need to do a bit of work on him. Though I doubt we will ever get him camping, we get him to go bush walking.

Sometimes I can at least understand someone else's mindset, though not necessarily agree with it. For me, not wanting to see more of this great country, the true wilderness, the dark rainforests and the fantastic beaches.... I can't even understand that. So come on, Dan. Get out there!

First stop was Mary Cairncross Park, a rainforest remnant in the Blackall Range. We had hoped to do something adventurous (M. Cairncross Park is Coach trips and oldies material), but James had managed to get blisters over most of his heels, rollerblading at his after-school club. Therefore we needed somewhere where he could walk barefoot.

But still, it is a beautiful spot, and amazingly unspoilt considering how many visitors the place gets. You still get to see wallabies and at least hear a huge range of bird life. You are also rewarded with one of the most famous views in South East Queensland, of the Glasshouse Mountains. On the way up the hill, we stopped off at a winery to buy some vinegar masquarading as white wine, for lunch.

After lunch we headed back down the hill to spend the afternoon on Mooloolaba Beach. The weather is still good, but we are running out of days when it will be warm enough to swim in the sea. Mooloolaba has the added advantage of being a half sheltered bay. You still get the odd batch of decent surf for a bit of body surfing, but the ocean always seems a degree or so warmer that one of the more exposed beaches up the coast.

The ocean is beautiful to swim in and the sand is great for the kids. Later on, we did the Cannes thing of strolling and hanging out on the Prom, before having a fine dinner outside. Drove home in just under an hour.

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Friday, April 01, 2005
Scientists discover new chemical element – Governmentium (Gu)
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science - it has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has a unique structure, containing one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has full outer shell of electrons, it is relatively inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even minute levels of Governmentium can cause reaction times to quadruple and result in unwanted byproducts..

Governmentium's dominant type has a normal half-life of four years; but it does not decay as usual, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass has been shown to actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, creating new isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium transforms into Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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Prince Charles decries “Bloody peasants”
Charles, the Prince of Wales, has lashed out at “Bloody peasants” interrupting his usual annual family ski trip to Klosters.

The Prince’s comments were surreptitiously picked up by nearby microphones from assembled members of the press as he posed with his sons during the traditional holiday photo opportunity.
The occasion is organised as a ‘gentleman’s agreement’, in return for allowing the royal party to spend the remainder of their holiday undisturbed by paparazzi.

The Prince had faced a barrage of questions, including enquires into his forthcoming marriage plans and into his choice of lime green and luminous yellow ski suit.

The Prince was noticeably ruffled when pressed by reporters over whether caterers will be serving hay or alfalfa at his impending post-wedding reception. The Prince remains sensitive over his horse’s dietary habits.

But later, when wrapping up the photo call, the Prince was overheard muttering to his sons, criticising the assembled reporters.

“Bloody peasants. I simply can’t stand the them. I hate doing this.”

“What do we bloody owe them? Why should we Royals have to put ourselves through this humiliation, just for a bunch of plebeians? Next time, I’m going to bring the dogs and set them loose,” he was heard to say.

On turning to the shocked reporters he snapped "Be quiet, I order you to be quiet," before beating the BBC Royal Correspondence, Nicholas Witchell, with a ski pole.

In an attempt to diffuse the situation – and the next day’s press reports - Charles’s communications secretary, Paddy Harveson, said the Prince has often felt ‘uncomfortable’ when dealing with the public.

“The Prince does not have contempt for the peasantry, but does demand that they observe Royal deference and keep their distance.”

“You must remember that the Prince gets only five holidays a year away from helping his Mother run the Commonwealth. He would prefer to be able to just get up the mountain and just ski, without interference from the common citizenry,” he said.

The Prince’s horse, Camilla, cannot ski, and so Ms. Parker-Bowles did not accompany Charles and his sons to Klosters.

For the second year in a row Prince William, 22, was accompanied by a female friend, known only as “Candy”. The happy couple spent much of the day cavorting in the snow. William and Candy, who is thought to be about 45 years of age, live in sin in a cottage on his Father’s estate of Scotland, in the north of England.

The younger Prince, Harry, missed out on the first two days of the holiday, after spending several hours in custody at Innsbruck Airport where he was pinched for attempting to smuggle cannabis into Austria.

Prince Harry is also facing questions from the Austrian Police over an alleged Nazi salute to security cameras at the airport immigration desk.

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