Friday, April 01, 2005
Scientists discover new chemical element – Governmentium (Gu)
Governmentium has a unique structure, containing one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has full outer shell of electrons, it is relatively inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even minute levels of Governmentium can cause reaction times to quadruple and result in unwanted byproducts..
Governmentium's dominant type has a normal half-life of four years; but it does not decay as usual, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass has been shown to actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, creating new isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium transforms into Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Scientists discover new chemical element – Governmentium (Gu)
Posted by Living with Matilda at 5:37 PM
Governmentium has a unique structure, containing one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has full outer shell of electrons, it is relatively inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even minute levels of Governmentium can cause reaction times to quadruple and result in unwanted byproducts..
Governmentium's dominant type has a normal half-life of four years; but it does not decay as usual, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass has been shown to actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, creating new isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium transforms into Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Posted by Living with Matilda at 5:37 PM
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