Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Queensland Bulls scrape to win
After the batsmen tottered in the middle order, the Queensland bowlers made amends to win over Victoria and take the domestic First Class championship for 2005-06.

Queensland lost 3 quick wickets and Watson to injury late in the first innings, as they slumped from 3/878 to a paltry 6/891. But middle order nerves didn’t worry the bowlers as Victoria – chasing 551 to make Queensland bat again – slumped to 202 all out.

With Queensland scratching around at 2 for 454 the Victorians must have smelled victory, just a mere 111 runs behind on the first innings. And when Shane Watson fell to injury and Andy Bichel departed cheaply, the champagne in the Victoria dressing room must have been on ice. Victorian bowler, Nannes, was on fire, bagging 3 wickets for just 150 runs.

But after another 446 streaky Queensland runs later, the game had swung the Bulls' way.

But it was not to be for the plucky Victorians. After being cleaned up in the second innings they lost by just an innings and 354 runs; quite the largest defeat in a first class final.

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Friday, March 10, 2006
Qantas off-shore the wrong jobs
Qantas – hardly a truer symbol of Australian pride, the airline with an unsurpassed air safety record, a tradition of quality service and reliability – is 'off-shoring' its maintenance department to China, in the process it is firing around 300 engineers in Sydney.

This will save the airline 10-15% on its maintenance bill. Chinese workers labour for far less than Australian counterparts.

Qantas's management argues such a move is essential in the competitive world of the airline industry. The savings can be passed on to the consumer through cheaper fares.

'Outrageous!', say the unions, shock-jocks and local MPs.

But I bet the consumer will say "so what" and chose the cheapest flight, no matter. Loyalty to the flag? Forget it!

Loyalty to Australian workers? Also soon forgotten, despite the bluster on the phone-ins.

Every other industry has faced up to being off-shored, why should maintenance engineers be different?

Is safety compromised by this move? Well, it might be, but we will reserve full judgement. Suffice to say that Qantas has the best safety record for any airline, Air China has the worst.

Michael Pascoe of www.crikey.com.au - as usual – cuts to the chase. He argues, why stop at the maintenance engineers? The owners of Qantas (the shareholders) should be demanding more out-sourcing.

Viz: In 2004, Qantas CEO, Geoff Dixon, earned $6.1 in salary, bonuses and other benefits. In contrast, Cathay Pacific boss, Philip Chen, made just A$1.6; Singapore Airlines chief, Chew Choon Seng, probably less than this.

So off-shoring the CEO's job will give our 'national carrier' a much better return: a saving of 281%!

Not surprisingly, the Qantas management has not recommended this to the Board of Directors.

Industry groups consistently argue that business needs to pay top dollar to attract the best talent to this country to head-up our industry. We are just not paying rich people enough to motivate them to move here.

Industry groups and conservative governments consistently argue unemployment benefits and wages are too high. We are simply giving poor people too much money to motivate them to earn more or come off benefit.

So there you have it, the rich aren’t paid enough and the poor are paid too much.

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WHAT A BL**DY POOR ADVERT
Funny: BRITISH TV regulators have banned the Tourism Australian ad "SO WHERE THE BL**DY HELL ARE YOU?"

Tourism Australia managing director Scott Morrison was trying desperately to put a positive spin on things, when he told the BBC "We thank the UK authorities for the extra free publicity and invite them to have a 'bl**dy' good holiday in Australia"

Mr Morrison nevertheless said he hoped the Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre (BACC) would reconsider its decision.

Fran Bailey, Tourism Minister, accused the Brits of lacking a sense of humour. "You know, maybe it's living in that very dull and dreary climate, because I really find it just amazing how anyone could take offence at the beautiful girl that we have in the bikini, with the sun streaming and the gorgeous beach."

"The regulator is out of touch with British opinion - based on our research and the initial feedback, the British are loving our cheeky sense of humour.''

Two weeks earlier, her boss, Prime Minister John Howard, wrapped the nation across the knuckles, complaining of a general decline of public standards and bad language festering on TV and radio, all before the watershed.

But the PM seems to have no problem with the new ads, doing just that.

IS THIS because he is a victim of his own prophecy? After hearing so much of it, he has become immune to swearing on daytime TV? Profanity is now the norm – the 'vernacular' – and public decency has fallen another notch.

Or is John Howard again resorting to double standards?

He can bang his socially conservative drum all he likes if it wins him votes, but scratch the surface and he would sell his own grandmother (or uranium to the Indians for that matter), if there was a dollar in it for him.

But the UK ban is only part of the story. Many Australians have cringed at the ads for resorting to the 'Ocker' stereotype and simply finding an excuse to put bikini-clad women on TV; something that they thought – or hoped – had been left behind when Paul Hogan presented the tourism ads in the mid-80s.

But then maybe I have been away from decent advertising for too long and simply don't see it.

Aussie TV is full of gratuitous ads, indulging male fantasy. Viz some utility truck's (can't remember which one) "Pulling Power" ad, Bundaberg Rum's "Take your top off" ad and now there's an SUV ad featuring a bloke lying in bed with his wife, fantasising about some car, the open road and a women who isn’t his wife; allegedly younger and more sexually alluring…

Harmless fun? Well maybe, but it does show a distinct lack of advertising imagination. Resorting to stereotype is what companies operating on a shoestring do, not something the biggest brands on TV should be doing.

SO WHERE THE BL**DY HELL ARE THE GOOD ADS?

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Friday, March 03, 2006
Welcome to Australia ©
"Australia has officially been named the world's number one 'nation brand' according to the Anholt-GMI Nation Brands Index (NBI). Australia was ranked first in tourism and immigration (preferred place to live and work) as well as being second, behind the US, as the country where investors are likely to open up a new overseas office.

Australia, a new entry in the NBI, has replaced Sweden as the world's strongest nation brand. Canada was ranked second, Switzerland third, the UK fourth and Sweden fifth."

Apparently, a "Nation Brand is an important concept in today's competitive world. Globalisation has ensured that countries must compete with each other for the attention of all stakeholders, from tourists and consumers to the media. A powerful and positive nation brand has a direct impact on the country's ability to sell products, holidays, influence governments and people."

We no longer support the Queensland Reds, but the QR Reds (Queensland Rail). When we cheer the Australian rugby team on to the pitch, it is introduced as the Qantas Wallabies, playing at Suncorp Stadium. At half time we experience the Holden Half Time and watch replays on the Toyota Sky-Cam. Everything is now branded.

Now that Australia has been named the No 1 'nation-brand', I wonder when we can look forward to it being sponsored; when it will be no longer called 'Australia'.

We could have:

"Holden Australia presents to you the great V6 -Rodeo Outdoors, perfect for exploring in Holden's powerful new off-road vehicle, with 18 different interior seat settings, 126 kilowatts of power, 26 mega-inches of torque and a 3.6 terr-bucket engine, featuring:

• The Steve Irwin Australia Zoo Great Barrier Reef
• McDonald's Uluru, now with giant painted golden arches, visible from space
• The Sizzler Kakadu National Park
• Playboy Blue Mountains
• Broncos Brisbane, home of the Ergon Energy Brisbane Broncos

As well as Australia being a strong brand, the Anholt-GMI survey also concluded the following:

Australians were considered the friendliest, most honest and hospitable people
Australians are the preferred nationality to hire
Australia is the world's most powerful tourism brand
Australia is the world's favourite place to live and work

And... don't laugh...

The Australian government is seen as trustworthy....

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Thursday, March 02, 2006
Kids schooled on the profits of gambling
Brisbane has some decent pubs. Unfortunately you can count them on one hand: The Victory Hotel, The Breakfast Creek Hotel, The Caxton Hotel, The Grand View in Cleveland…

Most pubs have been ruthlessly sapped of any character by an invasion of 'Pokies' (slot machines), Keno (24 hour TV bingo) and racing.

Silence greets you when you walk in; the only patrons obsessively pushing money into machines or staring gormlessly up at TVs.

For some Queenslanders, the introduction of Pokies has been the saviour of pubs, bringing in enough revenue to keep them viable. For others, Pokies have been the ruin of Brisbane's nightlife, turning what was once a decent place to get a drink and have a yarn into little more than a betting shop with a bar and bright blue carpet.

In an ironic twist, most pubs that were once perhaps just viable, have become addicted to Pokies. They have turned so many patrons off, that they could now never survive without them. Other pubs have simply been attracted by the massive profits to be made.

Now we have evidence that it is now just private enterprise growing fat, suckling off the teat of a state's hopeless addiction to gambling.

The Queensland government takes so much money, it could barely function without it. This press release from the Deputy Premier's Office reveals just how hopelessly indebted to is.
A back-of-a-fag-packet calculation suggests that the Queensland government takes some $325m per year in licensing revenues.

The press release howls "The [State Opposition's] discussion paper [on reducing Pokies by 20%] has to tell people which schools will be closed, which road projects will be delayed and what services will be cut to support its gambling policies."

That discussion paper might also wish to include which family traumas might be averted through tighter regulations on gambling, how much money would be saved by not having to treating addicts and supporting broken families and how much more money might circulate because people will once again visit a pub.

You must question the politics too. I would have though it a sign of weakness for a government to admit that it is funding schools and hospitals through gambling revenues.

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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The Lower Portals
Mount Barney National Park is a rugged area of bushland, encompassing a number of high peaks straddling the border between Queensland and NSW.

We were sent to down here to witness the "most beautiful swimming hole in the known universe", the Lower Portals, on Barney Creek.

Mount Barney itself is a 350 million year old igneous intrusion of granophyre (granite), weathered down from its original 2000m to its current 1359m over that time. Surrounding peaks (Mounts Ballow, Lindesay and Maroon) – old shield volcanoes – present an impressive backdrop to Barney, providing bushwalkers with a (near) wilderness experience 1 ½ hours out of Brisbane.

Barney was first climbed by Europeans in 1828, when Captain Patrick Logan, Alan Cunningham and Charles Fraser (three famous names reflected in local place names). Logan was the only one to make it to the top; Cunningham and Fraser turned back (too hard).

We weren't there to climb it this time. It is an expedition for sans les enfants. The tourist route (Peasant's Trail) is possible in a full day, but to do the mountain justice, different exploratory routes (at least on the summits) are surely a must. It will be a trip for later this year.

Instead, with a number of smallish children in tow, we opted for the march to the Lower Portals. Short (3.7km each way), but steep and hot, in open eucalypt forest. (Also got stung on the eye by a wasp, which was painful.)

The Lower Portals is a steep gorge on Barney Creek; a gateway – as it were – to the upper reaches of the creek and up a back route to Mount Barney. They are impassable, unless you are prepared to swim through with your gear in a bin liner and climb up a waterfall. The alternative is to ascend a ridge and skirt around.

The photos below are of the swimming hole at the bottom of the portals. Until I have seen more of the universe – or Mount Barney – I guess they rank up there at the top of the best places to swim…..

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