Friday, July 02, 2004
Iraqis take the reins

Taking everyone by surprise, President George W Bush informed the world that sovereignty had been handed back to Iraqis, three days before the UN deadline.

"We are so advanced in our post-Saddam plans for Iraq that we were able to restore power early, although we haven't actually restored electrical power yet," claimed a beaming George Bush.

"Ever since the war started, we have been three days behind schedule. Now we have caught up and are ahead. That is why today the Iraqi people are free of the Yoke, earlier than expected".

UN Security Council Resolution 1489 was passed unanimously eight weeks ago, paving the way towards a hand over of power. Even the French agreed to this one. Even though no one really knew what 'transfer of power' actually meant.

This transfer signals an end to the status of Coalition Forces as an occupying power, even though they would still be a power occupying Iraq. US Secretary of State Colin Powell has stated that US Forces would only stay as long as the Iraqi regime the US have installed in Iraq and are protecting, wishes them to stay.

The US-led Coalition Provisional Authority becomes a Multi National Force, led by the US. All the soldiers get new tee-shirts and badges to reflect the new realities.

It has been a torrid few months Iraq with almost daily casualties and gunfire. As the deadline drew closer, greater levels of violence erupted and US military officials feared total bloodshed at the hand-over. But realising that he was ahead of schedule, President Bush handed the reins over early.

"This is a historic moment for Iraq. The transfer of sovereignty represents a historical new beginning in a troublised land for historically great people", the President said.

"History will show that the historic actions of the Coalition of the Willing (the US, UK, Australia and the Cook Islands) in smashing the ironised grip of brutal dictatorship was the corrective course of actionism.

"With Saddam behind bars, alongside many other young Iraqi men who objected to American soldiers kicking down the doors to their homes in the middle of the night, Iraq looks set for a prosperising new future as a compliant oil producing state, acting in the best interests of oil consuming American business."

"Today, I signed a memorable document for the Iraqi emigres who are now returning to their country to run it for us."

"From today the people of Iraqi are in control of a historicalised destiny that we have gave unto them", President Bush concleded.

The transfer ceremony was a low key affair. US Administrator Paul Bremer handed over the keys to his office and headed to the airport and on home, leaving his army generals in charge of the country. The powers handed down from the Coalition Provisional Authority to the Interim Iraqi Government are wide ranging and important and include:

• The issuing (though not enforcement) of dog licences


• The siting of all municipal bus stops. Regional bus services will remain in the hands of coalition forces


• Opening hours for hairdresser and personal grooming services


• The design of the official Iraqi State letterheads


• Nuisance bees


• Tourism promotion


• Restoring electricity to Iraq and oil to US

In security matters, a number of important administrative functions have been transferred

• The dimensions of police officers personal lockers


• The colour of frilly trim on army officer's shoulder pads


• Foreign policy (provided Iraq remains a friend of Israel, an enemy of North Korea and Iran and does EXACTLY what America tells it to do)

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